disconnected in a connected world

--This has been in my drafts folder for months...finally posting it---

A while back I went on an amazing trip to a remarkable place. A place in the wilderness...kind of. A place for grown-ups and kids alike. A place where you can sleep in the trees and feel the wind as it sways you from side to side 30+ feet in the air. Treehouses. Yep, treehouses. And though this isn't really about what happened on these amazing three days that I spent here in a magical place -- but really about what did not happen. I turned my phone off.

We are obsessed with connectivity. We have a constant direct connection to everything and everyone. If I get lost...I hit maps on my iPhone and route me to where I need to go. I can call ahead from the road. I can text a quick answer or question to a friend 400 miles away. We can Skype across the Ocean. Status updates on FaceBook with a picture of our pet goat that just swallowed a watermelon seed, a tweet about your morning unfriendly episode of someone that just cut you off and you spilled a Venti Soy White Mocha all over your lap, or even post a YouTube video of Cousin Johnny running smack dab into the sliding glass door...all for the world to see -- instantly.

All of these things can be gratifying. They can all leave us with a sense of accomplishment. But what's the downside to be constantly connected to the world. I grew up prior to the cell phone boom...or even the existence of cell phones as we know them today. I survived the walk to the bus just fine. (No, it wasn't uphill both ways in the snow...it just didn't snow.) I actually memorized telephone numbers of my friends. Now, I think I know maybe two numbers of people that I call on a regular basis. We've not only become lazy with technology but we have accepted that this is the way it is... it's convenient now. I think it affects our memories and our overall mental preparedness in daily situations. We have also mastered the art of procrastination. Before, we'd plan the day, we'd plan where we would meet, and where we were going...now, I'll call you from the road or send you a text-- back and forth forty-two times to get the answer to a simple question. Yes, it's great to have a phone in an emergency. However, does an eight year old need a cell phone? Where's the line? At what point do we want to teach others that they have to be connected at all times? This goes beyond being connected and available it gives way to the expectation that the other person should answer you...immediately. I texted Susie 20 minutes ago...the least she could do is reply back. People use phones constantly at work, texting friends, posting on Facebook, surfing the internet for unrelated work topics. Where does it stop?

Take a day off from the technology. Take a day away from FB and Twitter and texting and all of the technology. (Just make sure you post it on FB, Twitter, and text me to let me know. I don't want to worry after all.)

When Distraction Becomes Life

Warning: if you don’t like endless ramblings I suggest you not read any further. Just so we all know where this is coming from: I have lost my best friend, my partner in life. Ok… no, not to death, but to life and youth, and the innocence that makes one do illogical things even when they can see the logical choices may actually be what is wanted. Confusion, fear, and frustration have divided us for some time. I now feel abandoned by the one person that I had finally allowed to get in. And though I have been destroyed and we have parted ways, my heart, my soul, my being all know that I must continue to search for a way to find her in the shadows of life. I am not a public person so this is the George Costanza method of doing the opposite for me. Guess we shall see what comes of it. Oh Seinfeld...you rock.

When distraction becomes life

Does it take moments of darkness to bring clarity into life? Perhaps, it is true, that you need the ultimate lows to experience the ultimate highs. We all somehow survive through the most difficult situations in life even when they seem impossible at the time. Distraction usually plays an important role in the ‘recovery’ process.

From times of great despair -- to a loss of your best friend, we try and hide from the truths to dull our senses until we have ‘moved on.’ People turn to family and friends, music, vacation escapes, and even immerse themselves into work…all for distraction. People try and distract from issues, distract from failed relationships, distract from life. But what happens when your distraction becomes your life. What happens when one day you look back and say, ‘Holy shit! I have become this other thing. I have lived to become this distraction.’ People struggle with this everyday. They chalk it up to finding themselves, or following their heart or enjoying life without regret. You can choose to be social and bar hop every night, you can put on another persona to mask the pain within, and you can even be very successful with the distractions you choose; however, without warning, you are transformed into this other way of living and this temporary distraction is now your life. Is the trick to realize that you have done this?

I have been locked down for so long stemming from a complicated timeline of events that I don’t use as an excuse but as little creation points of what ultimately pushed me into this alternate state of existence. I have realized now that I chose the distractions to live without knowing. I have been focused and driven and passionate but all towards the wrong thing in life. I haven’t allowed for a balance in life. Don’t get me wrong. I live a decent existence. I have a nice house, a car, a great job, and a few incredible true friends. But a large piece of the puzzle is missing. I need the happiness, the love of my partner, the support through it all. I need to give the same back. To support at all cost my partner, my friend, especially in the dark and uncertain times. What’s the point of a nice home in the hills without someone to share it with? I thought I had finally found all of this. I didn’t realize how my life—the distraction that became my life, would interfere with all of this. I only hope that the sand in the hourglass is not yet empty and I can somehow turn it back over and now have a full glass to begin with once again.